Rebecca
by pulling-the-puzzles-apart
Summary: AU Klaine Based loosely on the film of Daphne du Maurier's book Rebecca. Set in the 1930s - Kurt Hummel is in the South of France as a paid companion to Mrs Hopper when he meets the wealthy Blaine Anderson, who is apparently lamenting the loss of his first wife, Rebecca, who died mysteriously in a drowning.
1. Chapter 1

Rebecca

Chapter 1

Manderley always appears in my dreams now, haunts me with its lofty towers and steeples. Dark clouds always hover close, ominously, trees weave around it, hiding it from view until you approach, when the light from the doorway welcomes you in, begging for homely visitors again. I wished to make it homely, wished to settle but perhaps Manderley was never meant to be owned by anyone else. It was always fiercely protective of its original owner.

I suppose my adventure with Manderley started in the South of France where I was holidaying with Mrs Hopper. I had never been to France, always wanted to go and never could have afforded to go on my own but Mrs Hopper had paid for my fare and board and it was supposed to be an exciting way to travel. She was a demanding lady, boorish and ignorant but I found if I ignored her inane conversation I could observe the people and scenery around me and forget she was ever my companion. She caused scandal by having a male companion so young but it was soon obvious by anyone who had a conversation with either of us, that any kind of relationship between us would be ridiculous. Mrs Hopper didn't discourage the gossip though.

Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Kurt Hummel and I am originally from Ohio although Mrs Hopper is from New York. I answered her ad for a paid holiday companion, and the excitement of Monte Carlo certainly lived up to expectation though after a week of the glitz and glamour, I soon tired of it and wished for home.

I found myself on a walk by the cliffs one day, hoping to draw something of the view, when I spied a man near the edge. As I looked closer at him, he looked perplexed, worried and I had a sudden fear he would fall, deliberately or accidentally and I shouted.

"Watch out! Be careful!"

He turned suddenly and looked in my direction, suddenly uneasy on his feet and he walked closer to the bench I was sitting on.

"What a foolish thing to do, when I was so close to the edge. Anything could have happened."

"I'm sorry," I stuttered, "I was worried you would fall."

He looked more kindly at me then, softened his frown and I noticed his eyes, globes of warm honey and amber; kind eyes set in a beautiful face. His hair was black and gelled down and he smiled.

"Thank you for your concern, but it isn't necessary. Enjoy your holiday." And he walked away from the cliff.

xXx

I didn't see him again until the following evening when Mrs Hopper had decided to have her dinner in the hotel. I was instructed to eat with her and I followed like a forlorn puppy. As she waited for her after dinner cocktail, sitting on the plush sofa, the man I had seen by the cliff entered the room. He looked about him, wondering where to sit and his eyes suddenly found my face. He smiled and was talking to the waiter when Mrs Hopper started shouting.

"Oh Mr Anderson," Mrs Hopper waved dramatically, "Mr Anderson, over here."

He looked startled at being addressed so rudely but he approached nonetheless.

"Hello," he said quirking an eyebrow, clearly unsure how he knew this woman.

"Mr Anderson, how amazing that you should be here too. How are you?" Mrs Hopper said, gesturing at the seat next to her, which Mr Anderson kindly accepted.

"I am doing very well thank you, Mrs?"

"Oh Mrs Hopper, I would have thought sure you remembered me. I knew your first wife well."

At the mention of his first wife his face clearly changed but remembering his company, it changed back just as quickly. A smile was plastered there.

"And this is my companion Kurt Hummel." Mr Anderson smiled in recognition, and I instantly felt sorry for him. He had found the most annoying woman to talk to on his vacation when he had clearly wanted a peaceful trip.

"It's been lovely weather here and quite exciting all this glitz and glamour, don't you think Mr Anderson?"

"Yes, I quite agree Mrs Hopper, very exciting." Although his face showed a different emotion entirely.

"And what do you think of it all Mr Hummel?"

"Oh," I had not expected to be addressed directly and clearly Mrs Hopper thought it beneath Mr Anderson to enquire of my opinion. "I liked it to start off with I suppose, but I find myself quite bored with all the excitement now. I like the quieter moments."

Mr Anderson was clearly intrigued at my opinion and smiled. The waiter approached our seats and explained to Mr Anderson in a whisper that a table was now available for him and he took our leave, bowing politely at Mrs Hopper and smiling at me.

"A strange, quiet man I think," Mrs Hopper whispered, close to my ear as she took her leave of the room and we went upstairs to our separate rooms.

xXx

The following day Mrs Hopper proclaimed she was too ill to venture downstairs and I was given leave to enjoy the day and leave the nurse to take care of her. I found myself having breakfast alone and accidentally knocked the vase of flowers over. I felt so embarrassed and apologised profusely, gathering napkins to cover my mess, when a shadow appeared on one side of my table.

I looked up to find Mr Anderson looking kindly on me and he asked the waiter to set another place at his table for breakfast.

"Oh I don't want to be any bother," I said, "I'm sorry I've made such a mess but I'm quite alright here."

"I would have asked you to breakfast with me anyway, had you not made a mess," he smiled kindly and walked over to his table. The waiters hurriedly set my place at the table and I ordered coffee and scrambled eggs.

"You are an enigma to me Mr Hummel," he smiled, "I cannot understand how you find yourself here, a companion to the world's dullest woman. How did this happen?" I laughed.

"Oh, she's not too bad really and I wouldn't have been able to afford the trip on my own. I come from a small town in Ohio and have no family. I simply answered the ad and here I am."

"Where is she today?"

"She is ill in bed with a cold."

"And how long is your stay?"

"Another two weeks."

"Then back to Ohio?"

"Yes, I will either answer another ad or find employment somewhere else. I find it easier to flitter around without family."

"And where are your family? What happened to them?" he asked, hastily adding, "If you don't mind me asking of course."

"Oh no I don't mind, my mother died when I was eight and my father died last year of heart failure." I couldn't help the tears that appeared but I looked away to save embarrassment. I think Mr Anderson noticed but kept silent.

"I find myself alone too," Mr Anderson said, after a while. I smiled. "What are your plans today?"

"I thought I might go for a walk, draw if I find a nice spot."

"Good, I shall take you to some lovely spots in my car."

"Oh don't trouble yourself," I said, flushing, "I don't want to be a bother and I can easily walk."

"It is not a bother," he laughed, "I would like your company if you don't mind?"

"No, that would be nice," I could feel the blush deepen. He smiled warmly at my nerves.

"Eat up then and we shall go."

xXx

We found ourselves driving for quite a while in a peaceful silence as the weather blew around us. He had a convertible car which allowed the wind to rustle through my hair. I appreciated the peace and freedom of the journey and found myself looking at Mr Anderson's profile, so rigid at times, other times relaxed. I wondered what he was thinking and what he was really like. He intrigued me and I wondered what such an important and clearly wealthy man would want in my company.

We found a nice spot overlooking the sea and the sand where we could sit in peace and admire the view. The weather continued to be breezy but the sun was appearing more prominently in the sky and I was extremely relieved that Mrs Hopper had a cold.

"You are very quiet Mr Hummel; it always makes me wonder what you are thinking."

"Oh my thoughts are inconsequential really."

"No I don't believe they are. Your face always tells a story and I only ever see kindness and optimism in those blue grey eyes of yours."

I could feel the warmth returning to my cheeks. I had not known my face was that expressive.

"What do you think of me? I believe you could tell so much about me, just from a single look," he said.

"I don't know what to think. I barely know you and I would hate to be so presumptuous as to offer my silly opinion of your character."

"It would not be silly and I would like to know what you think of me. What does my face betray?" He looked serious and although I could think of nothing worse I decided to share my opinion.

"I don't really know what to think. Sometimes you appear lost in thought, perplexed and worried, like some great tragedy has befallen you and at other times you are light-hearted, carefree. I wonder if that is your real self."

He looked at me carefully, unsure how to take my words and I regretted saying them when I saw the hurt expression appear on his face.

"I had not known you would be able to see so much. You are indeed very clever Mr Hummel."

I felt sorry I had said anything as he looked at his hands in his lap, wringing them gently. Without thinking I touched his hand gently, trying to ease the pain etched on his face.

"I am sorry Mr Anderson; I did not mean to offend."

He smiled. "Don't worry Mr Hummel, I think you have earned my first name now, it is Blaine."

"Blaine," I tried the word on my tongue, "My name is Kurt."

"Kurt," he whispered, almost enamoured, "It has been nice to meet you."

xXx

We found ourselves journeying back once the wind had picked up and I returned to Mrs Hopper's room to enquire if she was better. The nurse was still in attendance and she was gossiping away, unaware of my presence at the door.

"I know Mr Anderson well," she was telling the nurse, "But of course I knew his first wife Rebecca extremely well. She was very beautiful, a great woman, until of course tragedy befell her and she died. Drowned they say, such a tragedy. Oh there you are Kurt. I have been waiting for you, come and play rummy with me."


	2. Chapter 2

Rebecca

Chapter 2

Mrs Hopper continued in bed the following day and was attended to by her nurse, so finding myself at a loss I decided I might take up tennis lessons using the hotel's facilities.

Donning my white polo outfit and tennis racket, and explaining my actions to Mrs Hopper I bounded downstairs and nearly bumped into Blaine at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh, Mr Anderson," I exclaimed.

"Kurt, I have already said you may call me Blaine. Off to tennis?"

"Yes, Mrs Hopper is still ill in bed and I thought I would enjoy the sunshine and new found freedom."

Blaine thought for a moment and then grabbed my elbow, leading me to the front of the hotel and his awaiting car.

"Have a day with me instead," he said.

"Oh really? Are you sure you're not busy?" Blaine only laughed and I found myself in his car, with the top down and my tennis racket swung wildly in the back.

xXx

The journey started off quite quiet and I nervously picked at my nails, unsure how to start a conversation with someone I barely knew. He glanced at my hands.

"Don't be nervous, you may ask me if you like," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You look nervous, perhaps you have heard the gossip about me since our last meeting and you want to know more about me."

I was embarrassed. He could read me so well.

"Um, I –"

"Don't worry, just ask."

"Well Mrs Hopper did mention yesterday that your first wife had drowned, I am sorry."

Blaine looked instantly sad at the admission but not for the reason I assumed.

"Thank you," he said simply.

It was not until we arrived at a secluded beach and sat on a bench that the conversation continued but although I was perplexed at first, I quickly knew what he meant.

"No one has ever apologised to me about her death, no one has ever expressed true pity for me." Blaine looked so closely at my eyes that I could feel my vision blur. He looked so serious and forlorn I wanted to kiss those frown lines away and make him smile.

"It sounds a sad story; I cannot imagine ever having to deal with such a thing. It must be a trial to holiday abroad to find you are dogged with stories of gossip. You cannot get a moment of peace from women like Mrs Hopper," I said.

He smiled. I felt my heart swoop and chastised myself for being so foolish to fall for a wealthy, clearly heterosexual man.

"You understand so much Kurt for someone so young. Perhaps it is your innocence that drew me to you."

"I really have no idea why you want my company Blaine when you could have any amount of wealthy, interesting people surrounding you. I feel rather boring."

"No Kurt," Blaine said emphatically, grabbing my hand in earnest, "It is precisely because you are not like those people that I sought your company."

I could feel the blush creep up from my neck and Blaine looked at me carefully. Upon realising my hand was still in his, he stroked my hand with his thumb and smiled warmly.

"Your company makes me feel alive again Kurt but in the calmest possible way. Is that silly?"

"Not silly, no," I whispered nervously.

"I am extremely grateful that Mrs Hopper has taken to her bed and I can steal you away from her." I chuckled.

"I think she will live."

"Let's go for lunch," Blaine exclaimed and he took my hand and led me back to the car where he drove us to a small café, set near the cliffside.

We ordered and sat quietly for a while, admiring the view and watching the few couples that were in the café eating quietly.

"Do you have a permanent residence Kurt? Somewhere where you can go between jobs?"

"I have a maiden aunt in Ohio but I often feel that I impose on her kindness. I try not to stay for longer than two weeks if I can."

"I see. Tell me, what do you like to do? In your free time I mean."

"I like to draw, that is the greatest attraction that this place possesses. It is full of places and people to draw."

"Will you draw me while you are here?"

"Yes, of course."

"What else do you like to do?"

"I love to play and sing. I am not very accomplished on the piano but I love to perform."

"Really? I would love to hear you sing. I will seek opportunities," Blaine said, smiling.

And later that evening as we were dining in the hotel restaurant, Blaine suddenly spied the piano in the corner.

"Will you play now Kurt?" He looked so hopeful, so happy at the thought I couldn't say no and although I hadn't prepared, I slowly approached the piano, after Blaine had politely asked the hotel manager.

I started quietly, timidly, and then gained confidence when I saw Blaine. He looked so in awe of me up there that I wanted to do my best for him, make him proud of me, so I continued.

_Some day, when I'm awfully low,  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you  
And the way you look tonight._

_You're lovely, with your smile so warm_  
_And your cheeks so soft,_  
_There is nothing for me but to love you,_  
_And the way you look tonight._

_With each word your tenderness grows,_  
_Tearing my fears apart_  
_And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,_  
_Touches my foolish heart._

_Yes you're lovely, never, ever change_  
_Keep that breathless charm._  
_Won't you please arrange it?_  
_'Cause I love you_  
_Just the way you look tonight._  
_Just the way you look tonight._  
_Darling_  
_Just the way you look tonight._

I only sang for Blaine, looked at him only and as the song continued, I could see tears fill his eyes despite his smile. He barely realised it but as I played the last chorus, he mouthed the words to me, sang with me and I couldn't help the smile that swept over my face as I finished the song and walked slowly back to our table. There must have been polite applause but I could only see Blaine, could only hear Blaine.

"That was wonderful," he breathed, as I sat down next to him, "Will you walk with me, as the weather is still nice?"

I agreed and we left the hotel.

xXx

We walked in silence for a while, taking in the water view and the light breeze that had started to blow the fragrance of salty air our way. As we walked I found his hand slip gently in to mine and we continued for a while in this way, neither wanting to ruin the atmosphere and the peace.

We approached a bench and he sat, looking out to the water and smiling. He suddenly turned my way, smiling so happily; it was infectious, I smiled back.

"You make me feel so much Kurt, where before I felt so little. Is that strange?"

I didn't know what to say, I had nothing.

"I suppose you deserve to know some of the truth," he continued, "I never did love Rebecca, my first wife, we hated each other. It was a marriage of convenience. I never loved her."

I was shocked at this sudden knowledge but let him continue. I was at a loss for words.

"Our families wanted us to marry so desperately and we found with living separate lives we could live quite happily, barely seeing each other. You see Kurt," he paused, looking at his hands, "I never found her attractive, I don't find women attractive."

"I see," was my simple response.

He looked at me slowly, trying to determine what I was really thinking, staring into my eyes.

"Do you see Kurt? I can't tell."

"Yes I see, I feel the same."

"I see," he smiled, "That makes this easier."

He touched my chin gently, pulling me closer to him, his lips barely touching mine as he continued.

"I don't know what you do to me Kurt, I can't explain it. You are amazing and beautiful and so, and so…" I closed the gap and our lips touched.

The kiss was so short and chaste that I could suddenly feel the ghost of his touch on my lips as we parted. It was my first kiss.

**A/N**: The song used is 'The Way you Look Tonight' by Fred Astaire (1936).


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I found myself spending all my days with Blaine while Mrs Hopper was laid up in bed. She continued to flounce in her bedroom, determined to make the most out of her malady and the weary expression on the face of the nurse made me feel that I was extremely lucky not to be needed.

Blaine would meet me for breakfast or at the bottom of the stairs and we would take long journeys to different parts of the south – woods, vineyards, beaches, walkways and I drew the landscape and drank coffee. We chatted about anything and everything that interested us – books, music, thoughts, feelings. I even drew Blaine though he laughed at how I had portrayed his nose. I felt as light as a feather around him and the unease and worry of before disappeared in his presence.

I had suspected that Mrs Hopper had been improving enough each day that on one journey back to the hotel in the car, I voiced my worry to Blaine that I would not be able to see him tomorrow. He continued to look ahead as he drove, his face not betraying any worry or feeling and I suddenly felt silly that I should start to miss him. I felt tears spring to my eyes whereas I had probably not made such a dent in Blaine's emotional core. He looked over quickly, and clearly seeing me struggle, he simply asked me what I was thinking.

"I think I will miss our time together very much. I wish I could trap each memory, each moment this week, in a jar and whenever I felt blue or needed reminding I could sniff the bottle and be brought back here, with you."

I looked away, as the car continued and my tears threatened to fall. I had so enjoyed my time with him, simply talking and being listened to that I would hate to go back to being ignored and considered inconsequential. Perhaps it would have been better not to have experienced those things and not know the difference. Blaine slowed the car along the road, stopping at a space on the side and touching my chin lightly to force my eyes to look directly at his warm amber orbs.

"What do you think? What causes you to look so pained Kurt?"

"I will miss you," I whispered, feeling foolish for revealing too much.

"I will miss you too," he smiled, "But I will not allow you to spend all your time with Mrs Hopper, I will save you occasionally, until your visit finishes."

"Perhaps it would be best if I had never met you after all, perhaps it would be easier now," I felt indignant, annoyed that I would mean nothing to him. "Better to know nothing of being valued if it is to be taken away from me." New angry tears appeared and trailed down my face and Blaine stroked my cheeks to remove the sadness.

"You wish you had never met me?" Blaine looked hurt, such sadness in his eyes.

"You don't know what it has been like Blaine, I was nothing before and I will go back to being nothing. You made me feel important, valued, like you might lo-"

"You are important Kurt, so valued, I am so grateful that I got to meet you, you don't know what I was like before Kurt, I was broken, I feel like you have brought me back to life."

A sudden hard kiss was placed on my lips, so passionate but determined as if meaning could be imparted through the lips. I understood after all and the kiss was softened. He tentatively licked my bottom lip and I gasped, allowing him to softly caress my tongue with his own. I sighed and melted.

I could see Blaine's warm eyes looking at me as I opened my eyes slowly.

"You must never think you are unimportant to me Kurt, you are everything." He looked so earnest, so desperate to be understood I simply kissed his cheek and smiled.

xXx

The following morning I was indeed right in assuming that Mrs Hopper would be well and would continue to demand my company.

"You must help me today with my errands in town and we will shop. You cannot have any more of these tennis lessons. I assume you must be almost a professional by how much time you have spent on the court."

Upon returning to the hotel late morning, Mrs Hopper had received a telegram explaining that her daughter had just got engaged to her sweetheart.

"We must go at once my dear," she said, already directing people around her to pack her belongings, "She will need my help in planning the wedding."

I spoke to the hotel staff immediately, asking if I could speak to Mr Anderson to explain but I was told he was horse riding and wouldn't be back until midday. I panicked but continued to pack my belongings and started helping pack Mrs Hopper, which took far more time. Midday soon arrived and we were told the car was outside the hotel waiting.

"I think I have forgotten my book!" I exclaimed, running back into the hotel to ask if Mr Anderson had returned and upon finding out he had asked for breakfast in his room, I ran as fast as I could.

I knocked timidly on his door and hearing the running water, I entered quietly, worried I would be noticed.

"Hello!" I shouted once to make my presence known.

Blaine came out in only a towel, wrapped around his waist and I couldn't help but follow the trail of water along his chest, lovingly. I gulped.

"Well hello," Blaine said, smirking mischievously, "I see I have an unexpected visitor." He returned to the bathroom to continue changing.

"I have come to explain I am leaving," I said outside the bathroom, my throat constricting. "Mrs Hopper has received a telegram about her daughter's engagement. We must go at once, our car waits outside."

"And will you go with her?" Blaine asked from inside.

"Of course, I must, I have nowhere else to go."

"Why don't you stay with me? Come to Manderley, live with me."

I gasped at the suggestion, as Blaine emerged from the bathroom fully dressed. He suddenly noticed his breakfast cart awaiting him and he sat down to eat.

"Won't you join me?" Blaine asked politely. I sat down slowly, unsure how to proceed. He simply carried on eating and shared the food.

"You still haven't replied to my offer. Do you think it a foolish one?"

"Yes, I really must go downstairs; Mrs Hopper will be waiting and I…" I stood up to leave but Blaine touched my hand.

"I am deadly serious Kurt. You cannot leave. Do you not want to live with me?"

"Of course I do Blaine," my voice softening, "But it is impossible."

"Not if you will it so. I will say you are working for me as my secretary and no one will ever know. Manderley has only two servants now who have been with me since I was born, they will not breathe a word. It is quite possible I assure you."

I did not know what to say but I smiled timidly, starting to picture this possible future with Blaine. He took this as a sign so he called the room service to ask for Mrs Hopper to come up here to see him and we waited.

Mrs Hopper was all smiles as she approached Blaine but as soon as Blaine referred to me behind her, she turned to give me a stare that could curdle milk.

"What have you been doing Kurt? I hope you have not been disturbing Mr Anderson. We have been called away Mr Anderson; my daughter is to be married."

"So I hear. Congratulations Mrs Hopper but I feel I must explain: you see I wish to take your company from you. Mr Hummel has been helping me with my letters and business these last few days and I feel he would be invaluable at Manderley. You see since my wife died it is in disrepair and I will need someone to help me manage it. Mr Hummel would make a most excellent secretary and I have asked him if he would remain with me and come back to England when I return in a few days."

Mrs Hopper had at first looked shocked, that someone would see such good qualities in me and as she looked me up and down, she raised an eyebrow.

"I hope you haven't been making a nuisance of yourself Kurt?" Only my gaping face was evident.

"I assure you Mrs Hopper it was all my own doing. What do you say?"

"Well I can't very well keep him; he will of course not be any good to me while I plan the wedding. Now I must take my leave, the car is waiting."

As Blaine returned to his bathroom, Mrs Hopper whispered to me that I had best beware as she had heard such rumours about Blaine and his wife. She left quickly, wishing me luck. I closed the door behind her, glad to get rid of the old bat. Upon turning, Blaine came back to the room and smiled.

"Finally!" He exclaimed, "I thought she would never leave." He walked confidently towards me and grabbed my waist. "You are mine Kurt, all mine." He kissed me passionately and I sank into the kiss, feeling protected and so glad to be owned in such a freeing way.

"You do realise that you will be my equal really Kurt. You will have to perform certain duties as a ruse only, a cover. In every other respect you are my equal." He looked so earnest, I kissed the worry away and smiled to reassure him.

"Thank you Blaine."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The day we drove to Manderley started off sunny and warm but as we neared Cornwall after crossing the channel, the sky got darker and rain threatened and spilled over from the clouds above. Blaine graciously offered me his coat to hide under but looking back perhaps it was an omen. The windscreen wipers were furiously sweeping the rain from side to side and all of a sudden Manderley appeared, majestic and austere.

As we were ushered in, a great collection of people greeted us in the hallway and Blaine whispered we would get through this quickly and be able to escape.

"Mrs Danvers, please meet Mr Hummel. Kurt this is the housekeeper, Mrs Danvers."

Mrs Danvers was a dark woman, dressed in the usual prim black dress with a white collar befitting a lady of importance in the household. She looked me up and down, her eyes reaching my face and I was met with a frown. She clearly could not understand my presence at all.

"Mrs Danvers," I could hear Blaine speak, although he seemed miles away as I looked at the huge expanse of hall and stairs before me. "Why do we suddenly have so many members of staff?"

"I thought it best sir, as you mentioned in your telegram that you would like to start entertaining again. If they do not meet your requirements we can of course replace them."

"No, no that's fine. You did well Mrs Danvers."

Blaine suddenly led me by the elbow and ushered me upstairs to show me where I would be living: the East Wing.

As soon as the door closed behind me, Blaine spun me around and kissed me fiercely, knocking me so my back was placed against the door.

"I have wanted to do that for so long Kurt," he gasped and kissed me again. "I think this will be harder than I thought." He walked away, clutching his hands together as if he could not keep them to himself. I was slightly afraid. I didn't know Blaine as well as I thought here in this dark place and I was nervous.

He turned and must have seen my expression as he asked me to sit next to him on my freshly made bed.

"What are you thinking Kurt? Do you wish you hadn't come?"

"No, of course not," I said slightly stuttering, "But I do wish I knew you better, I feel as if I have been thrown here and I have no idea where I am or how to belong."

"Just be yourself, everyone will love you, I promise."

"I wish we had more time to settle before that happens, I believe you will want me to start my job soon."

Blaine laughed. "Kurt you have no job. I don't want you to worry."

"Could we escape do you think? Hide away?" I asked timidly.

"Can I come to your room later tonight?" Blaine asked, "I think then we can escape."

"Okay," I whispered.

xXx

I settled in quickly with the little luggage I had brought from France. I had telegrammed my aunt in Ohio to send my few belongings to my new address and explained my new occupation. Mrs Danvers had sent up a light supper to my room and had explained that I would be eating with Mr Anderson from now on. She had continued to frown at me as she entered, clearly perplexed at this new arrangement. As a secretary I would normally eat upstairs away from the servants but definitely not with Mr Anderson and she was trying to figure me out; what power I possessed.

As I was dressed for bed, I slipped in under the covers and waited for sleep. I was dozing when Blaine timidly knocked and let himself in, peeling the covers away himself and lying on his side to face me in the shadows. He looked different in Manderley, more powerful and I was unsure how I would fit here in Cornwall.

He stroked my cheek shyly and I sighed knowing the Blaine I knew had returned.

"Do not worry Kurt; this will be where we will always meet." He kissed me quietly and I felt his tongue enter and softly caress my own.

"I hate that we have to hide in our own house but I want you to know that here is where I belong, with you, though I may have to hide it when I leave this room."

I simply smiled, worried about the future but feeling safe here.

We kissed for several minutes, my heart beating fast, as he stroked my cheek then placed wet kisses along my neck and collarbone. I gasped in pleasure as he continued, stroking my chest under my pyjama shirt and working his way to my ear lobe to suck on it gently. He broke away with a sigh and sat up in the bed. I did the same.

"This all feels rather strange doesn't it Kurt?" He looked over at me and smiled as I plumped our cushions.

"It is rather rushed I suppose," I said, "I am glad you have taken me with you though."

"Are you?" He asked timidly, "You are not regretting it?"

"No, definitely not."

"You have such a power over me Kurt, I cannot explain it. I saw you at the cliffside as you warned me and it was almost like you glowed. There was magic around you and I knew you would be the cause of either the most tragic heartbreak or the most glorious love that I could ever experience."

"I would never cause you heartbreak Blaine."

"I know that now but it was only as you sang that you brought me back to life. I think I saw only love and light and amazing glory in those eyes of yours and your musical voice." I could feel the blush cross my cheeks as Blaine spoke and I wanted desperately to know him as he seemed to know me.

"What are you thinking?" He asked smiling mischievously.

"Only that I wish to know you better."

"And you will, my love. What do you wish to know?"

"What is Mrs Danvers' story?"

"Oh she has been here since forever but was quite attached to Rebecca. Just don't let her bother you."

"Will I be able to see you tomorrow?"

"What would you like to do? Perhaps we can convince Mrs Danvers that you are seeing the estate and I can take you away to the woods surrounding the house."

"That sounds lovely Blaine."

"Good, now let's go to sleep. I promise I will sneak out before my man comes to wake me but you will join me for breakfast?"

"Yes, I would love to," I whispered, "Do you think the servants are already suspicious?"

"Probably but the beauty of being Lord of your own castle means you can set your own rules and I don't care what they think." Blaine snuggled lower in the bed, slipping further under the covers.

As I sunk lower, Blaine opened his arms to sweep me into a hug and I lay snuggled in his warmth for a few minutes as I fell asleep.

xXx

The next morning I awoke to find my bed cold on the side that had been occupied by Blaine and I realised it would soon be breakfast. I rushed to get ready and walked calmly downstairs despite my nerves.

"Mr Hummel," said Mrs Danvers as she appeared to glide out of nowhere and materialised by my side. "Mr Anderson is waiting for you in the dining room, this way." She led me there and as soon as she had appeared, she vanished.

"Kurt," Blaine exclaimed as I entered, then he calmed his excited expression, noting my sombre appearance and he simply indicated my place opposite him at the long table.

"You may leave us, Frith," Blaine spoke to the butler, who promptly left the room.

"Please join me here," Blaine indicated a seat next to him, "I can't bear you so far away." I joined him, noting the napkin with Rebecca's initials and as he started to eat a breakfast roll, I buttered my own and ate in silence.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes thank you, very well."

"I don't do very well at all this, do I Kurt?"

"Perhaps not," I said laughing at his worried expression.

"I need to remember not to be so excitable in your presence but I do love seeing you walk in. This place was so dreary before you arrived and you make me want to disregard all proper social etiquette and take you right here."

He said this with such a straight expression I almost thought I had misheard.

"Well you cannot," I said simply, "The servants would definitely talk then."

"Well I will just wait 'til later. Will you join me in about an hour for a walk?"

"Yes, that will give me time to write a letter to my aunt to reassure her. I was only able to send a telegram while we were in France."

"Of course, a good idea. She may visit soon if you would prefer?"

"That would be nice, thank you."

We soon finished our breakfast and agreeing to meet in the hallway in an hour, I went towards my room to be greeted by Mrs Danvers on the landing.

"I hope everything is to your satisfaction Mr Hummel?"

"Yes of course Mrs Danvers, I will leave everything to you, I plan to change nothing and Blaine tells me you have been an excellent housekeeper."

"Blaine?" Her eyebrows rose, causing an arch in her face and sharp lines to appear.

"Oh Mr Anderson of course," I stuttered.

She paused. "You are pleased with the East Wing?"

"Yes of course." She indicated the other side, where a spaniel lay on the shiny floor.

"The West Wing is of course where Mrs Anderson resided." And she vanished again.

I suddenly remembered I had no way of corresponding to my aunt in my room and I went in search for a library or study where I could find paper and a pen.

I went into a room downstairs which I assumed would have these things and I was greeted by a man, who upon my entrance, stood up abruptly and looked apologetic.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know anyone would be in here," I said.

"Oh no don't worry, please come in. I was wondering when I might meet the famous Mr Hummel. I am Mr Crawley," he said, stretching his hand out to introduce himself. "I am Blaine's overseer, I look after the estate."

"You know about me?" I asked stupidly.

"Of course, Blaine telegrammed me from France to say he would be bringing back a secretary. I understand you will be helping me where necessary?"

"Oh, of course, however I can help, let me know." Mr Crawley smiled warmly.

"I will do."

"Oh I see you have met Frank," Blaine said as he entered the study.

"Yes," I smiled, "I hope to help him."

"I'm sure you will," Blaine said, as he smiled and touched my elbow gently. "Are you writing your letter?"

"Yes."

Blaine went to leave with Frank and turned suddenly. "Oh yes I forgot to say, my sister Beatrice will be here for lunch. See you soon."

I wrote my letter, assuring my Aunt I was enjoying my new employment and hinting that I would be helping Mr Crawley with the management of the estate. I described the weather and the place I was to call home and asked after her health. I perused the books in the library then got ready to meet Blaine for our walk.

He greeted me in his walking boots and coat and smiled.

"Ready? I don't think you are quite prepared for our English weather here. I think we need to buy you some new clothes."

"I don't have much money Blaine," I said as we left the house and walked along the path.

"Don't be silly, what's mine is yours."

We walked for a way until we reached the undergrowth on the estate, surrounded by trees and bushes. It was lovely here at Manderley. The sea on one side seemed remote and unapproachable so I continued following Blaine until it was most certain we would not be disturbed.

"Come here," he said, as we stopped near some shadowy trees.

As I walked closer he took me by the waist and kissed me fiercely.

"How am I doing?" Blaine asked timidly, "Did you like Frank?"

"Yes he seemed very pleasant," I said, "You are doing better, I think."

"I am finding it hard to resist you but I think Frank will keep our confidence if we are a little too obvious in his company so don't worry."

"I don't want to do anything to jeopardise your position here Blaine. We need to be careful." He pouted and I suddenly felt like I had kicked a puppy.

"Oh Kurt, I will try but we don't need to worry and I can't help myself."

He kissed me again, this time licking my bottom lip to insert his tongue to tangle with mine. We kissed for quite some time as Blaine stroked my back under my shirt and left me breathless.

"What do you do to me Kurt?" He gasped, "I can't quite believe you exist and sometimes I think you must have bewitched me." I only smiled.

"We had better return for our lunch with your sister," I said, as I looked at my watch. "We have a lot to prepare."

"Are you taking your job seriously?" He laughed.

"Yes, I don't want anyone to think I shouldn't really be here. What is your sister like?"

"She is funny really. You will soon see and I would not want to taint your opinion of her. She is perhaps eager to look over you, see what I have brought back with me."

I must have looked concerned because Blaine suddenly grabbed me by the waist again.

"Don't look so worried, she will love you just as much as I am starting to, I promise."

He sealed the promise with a kiss and I was left breathless as we returned to the house.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Upon returning to the house we were informed by Frith that Beatrice and Giles were already here and waiting in the main lounge. As Blaine went up to change I went to the lounge to meet them but hesitated by the door as I could hear them talking.

"And who do you think this Mr Hummel is?" Beatrice asked her husband.

"Oh it's obvious isn't it? Someone he met in the south of France obviously." I could hear the laughter in his voice but Beatrice remained silent and I braced myself for inquisitive expressions without questions.

As I entered they stood with almost comical expressions with open mouths and apologies on the tip of their tongues.

"Hello," I walked forward, suggesting confidence, "You must be Mr and Mrs de Lacy."

"Hello," Mrs de Lacy shook my hand, "You must be the new secretary, Mr Hummel?"

"Yes, nice to meet you both. Sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr Anderson will be down in a moment, he is just changing."

"You are quite an enigma to us Mr Hummel; did you meet Blaine in France?"

"Yes, I was a paid companion to a Mrs Hopper whilst travelling in the south of France but when Mr Anderson met me I managed to help him with a few things and as he knew I didn't have paid employment after the holiday, he suggest I work here as his secretary."

"I see," Beatrice said, though her expression suggested she did not fully understand at all.

"Ah there you are, little sister," Blaine said, as he entered. "Giles," he said pleasantly as they shook hands roughly. "I see you have met Kurt."  
"Yes, we have met Kurt," Beatrice said, surprised to be using my first name. "Of course call me Beatrice, Kurt," she said smiling.

After a light lunch we went to the lounge and tea was set up there. Beatrice and Giles sat comfortably on the sofa, while I sat at the small table, Blaine making small talk about the weather in France.

"What will Kurt do Blaine? I wasn't under the impression that you needed a secretary, I would of course recommended someone had I known."

I felt perplexed but said nothing as Blaine paused to gather himself. "Well I didn't think I needed someone Beatrice until I met Kurt. I think he will help run things smoothly here and Frank could always do with help. I think he is overworked."

"Perhaps," Beatrice said calmly.

Upon leaving, Beatrice whispered something to Blaine but Blaine pretended it was nothing and continued as the perfect host, shaking Giles' hand and leading them to their car. As soon as they were gone, Blaine breathed a sigh of relief and turned to me as I stood diligently by his side.

"Fancy another walk?" he asked, so hopeful.

"It looks like it might rain; I'll just get my coat from my room."

"No let Robert get you one from the closet. Robert," he called the manservant, "Get Mr Hummel a raincoat." As soon as we were properly attired we took Jasper and led him to the woods we walked to earlier.

"I am very glad that is over," I sighed, "Did I pass the test?"

Blaine laughed, "I'm sorry my darling, I did not want you to feel it was a test. Were they beastly to you before I arrived?"

"No, just cold and suspicious. Do they know why I'm here really?"

"Beatrice does. She whispered to me, as she left that she would keep it a secret but that I should be careful."

"Careful?"

"She is only thinking of the scandal but I have said before I don't care, Kurt. What can they do?" He linked his arm in mine and looked so carefree I did not want to dispel his happy attitude. We carried on walking until Jasper decided he fancied going in the opposite direction towards the sea.

"Oh Jasper, Jasper," I called, then Blaine started shouting too but to no avail. "We best follow him."

"No," Blaine suddenly said forcefully, "He'll come when he's ready." He started walking away but I stopped.

"Blaine, he might get hurt, I'll just quickly go and get him." Before he could explain, I ran off after Jasper, calling him as I went and leaving Blaine behind.

After running down the cliff side steps, leading to the water below, I couldn't see Jasper so I continued shouting along the beach, until I spotted a small seaside cottage and Jasper lying down on the step in front of the door. I ran up to Jasper, kneeling down to stroke him to encourage him to follow me. We had no lead so Jasper had been free to roam where he pleased and he did not seem willing to follow me back home. I felt a shadow over me and looked up to see a strange man wearing a cap and dirty clothes, his eyes almost popping out of his face and expressive in a maniacal.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," I stammered, "Do you live here?"

"You won't tell no one will ya?" He asked, looking worried, "I just like to come 'ere."

"Have you got something I could use for a lead?" I asked, deciding to walk into the place despite his lack of answer and vacant expression.

The first thing I noticed was the cobwebs hanging over beautiful pieces of furniture, sofas and a chaise longue, as well as dark maple chests. Littered over the sofas were blankets with Rebecca's initials. Finally my eyes alighted on a piece of a string I could use for Jasper and I left the cottage, feeling as if I had gone back in time to a darker place. I breathed a sigh of relief as I left, feeling the light hurt my eyes.

"You won't tell anyone will ya? I was only there putting away my shells," the old man said, his eyes wide in worry. "She's gone in the sea, ain't she? She won't return?"

"No she won't return," I whispered, knowing who he was referring to, "She's gone."

I ran along the boulders by the cliff side and up the steps to find Blaine again and as soon as he saw me he started to walk quickly away, towards the house.

"Blaine," I shouted, trying to catch up and drag Jasper along behind me, "Blaine, please wait." He did not slow down as I approached, his stance just continued to be angry, his body only displaying hard lines, his jaw set.

"You knew I didn't want you to go down there," he said, anger clear in his voice.

"But why Blaine?" I said, "I only saw a cottage by the sea, fetched Jasper…."

"Did you go in?" Blaine said, as he stopped and looked at me fiercely.

"Yes," I said, as Blaine looked up to the sky in disgust and despair, "I had to get a lead for Jasper, I only saw an old man…" I wanted desperately to make it better. "Why are you so angry Blaine? I don't understand."

"You knew I didn't want you to go down there, if you knew the memories I have of this place, you'd understand," he started to mutter to himself. "We should never have come back here, oh what a fool I've been, thinking we could make a life here, oh how stupid," he said, looking to the sky impatiently.

"But why Blaine, I don't understand, I don't want you to be angry…" Tears appeared in my eyes, though I tried to blink them away. Blaine's expression softened as he looked into my eyes.

"Oh I've made you sad," he said as he brought me closer to him and hugged my waist. I couldn't help but bury my head into his warm shoulder, hoping I would be able to erase the vision of hurt and anger I had seen on his face a moment ago.

"You must wish you had never come back with me," Blaine whispered sadly.

"No I don't wish that Blaine," I said, my voice still muffled in his shoulder.

"I am sorry," he said as he placed his hands on my cheeks to see my eyes close to his. "You do really love me don't you?" He looked in awe of me then, as if he couldn't believe I would love him.

"I do Blaine, I do."

"Thank you," he whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: M rating needed here.

Chapter 6

We carried on as if nothing had happened and it wasn't referred to again as Blaine crept under my covers at the dead of night and rose too early for the servants to notice. We ate our breakfast quietly the following morning and I soon found myself at a loss for what to do with my time as Blaine busied himself around the estate.

I found myself in the morning room writing letters on paper that clearly belonged to Rebecca, her initials heading everything, ever present. Upon getting up awkwardly I knocked a china ornament off the desk and it smashed, only leaving tiny pieces. I hastily looked up, hoping no one had seen and stashed it at the back of a drawer. It symbolised more I think, looking back. I always felt like a stranger there, someone living on borrowed time and the china ornament broke all illusions that I could be an equal here.

Mrs Danvers always had more power over me than Blaine knew, always created a fear in me that was unnecessary but made my chest clench miserably whenever she was near. She would look at me with unmasked disgust and hatred, obviously wondering the power I had over Blaine and wishing I would vanish. It took every ounce of courage I possessed to refrain from running away and letting her win.

I knew Blaine loved me but the mystery of Rebecca haunted him and I couldn't help but wish for explanations and answers to my many questions. I was watching the world go by at the window of the morning room when I had a sudden desire to be useful to Frank and I thought he might be able to answer some of my questions. I thought perhaps he would be able to quell my fear.

I found him in the study, amidst papers and he stood up upon me entering.

"Oh don't get up on my account," I said, as he visibly relaxed.

"I'm just sorting out rent for the tenants. Blaine has declared a week free rent for all the tenants and a week extra pay for all the servants."

"Oh," I said surprised, "Why?"

"Because of you of course," Frank said, smiling.

I started helping Frank with the letters, sticking on stamps and signing and we sat in peaceful silence for a while, until I plucked up the courage to speak to Frank, to confide in him.

"I was walking with Blaine yesterday, by the sea and noticed a little cottage on the sea front. There was a strange man there, I wondered who he was?"

Frank looked up at me, at my question and paused before speaking. He clearly didn't want to say too much and was worried about how much I wanted to know. I still took the opportunity.

"Oh that must have been Ben, he's harmless really," Frank said.

"The place is in quite a bit of disrepair, maybe something should be done about it."

"Oh I think Blaine would have said something to me if he wanted anything done," Frank said, defensively.

"Are all of Rebecca's belongings there?"

"Yes, Blaine asked for that to happen. It was mainly a place for her boat and sailing equipment, she liked to sail."

"Wasn't she afraid?" I asked.

"She wasn't afraid of anything. That was the beauty of her really. She was fearless."

"I think Blaine must be sorely disappointed in me, I seem to be the complete opposite of Rebecca," I looked down, whispered.

"No don't think like that," Frank said, nudging my chin with his finger to lock my gaze with his. "I think Blaine likes you for that exact reason." I was surprised another man, in such a clear position of power here, would touch me like that and I remembered what Blaine had said: that Frank would keep our confidence.

"What was she like? Rebecca I mean?" I whispered.

Frank paused, looking at the envelope he was in the middle of stamping, reflecting on his answer and perhaps imagining her face and her form.

"She was the most beautiful creature I ever saw," he said finally.

xXx

Blaine had said the day before that I should order a few more outfits, more in keeping with my position here and so I spent the rest of the day ordering clothes, which I could definitely get used to. It was later that evening, when we were tucked together under the covers, that I could talk to Blaine again and bask in his warmth. I simply sighed, knowing this was where I belonged.

"Have you had a good day, Kurt?" he asked, tucking my head between his neck and shoulder and kissing the top of my head affectionately.

"Yes thank you. I helped Frank and I ordered clothes."

Blaine chuckled. "Well that is a good day. I seem to have been rushing around, meeting with important people and working."  
"I can help you Blaine," I said, sitting up on my elbow to look at his worn out expression.

"No don't worry your little head about me," he said, stroking my hair fondly.

I couldn't help but huff as I lay back, staring at the ceiling.

"Please don't do that Blaine, I wish to be useful and I'm not a girl, I'm not your wife."

It was his turn to rest on his elbow as he stared at me from above.

"I don't think that Kurt, I know you're not a girl. I wouldn't be with you if you were."

"I don't like being treated as a pathetic creature that couldn't possibly understand business and I want to help you."

"Then you shall," he said, stroking my cheek slowly, "But I love that I can come here and get away from it all with you, lying here." He lay back, both of us staring at the ceiling.

We lay there for a while, both lost in our own thoughts until Blaine turned to face me on his side.

"You are happy here, aren't you Kurt? You don't regret coming here?"

"No of course not Blaine. I would follow you anywhere."

Blaine's eyes filled with tears and his expression looked so pained, I could only gape at him, barely blinking.

"Even to the depths of hell?" he whispered.

I could only hug him to me and cling there, rocking him gently.

"Even there," I whispered.

xXx

One of my new outfits arrived a few days after and I took the opportunity of wearing it when Blaine said he had a surprise before dinner for me in the main living room. As I entered in my suit that fitted slightly too well, Blaine turned and gaped, taking the opportunity to openly stare at my figure and devour me with his eyes. I felt pride swell in my chest that I could cause that reaction in someone as great as Blaine.

"Wow, I don't know quite what to say…" Blaine whispered. I could only smile as I walked to his side.

"I was hoping for that reaction," I said as Blaine almost grabbed me by the waist, pulling me closer to himself and he cheekily stroked my lower back, his hand then reaching lower and lower. I almost yelped but as Blaine buried his face in the nook between my neck and shoulder, I couldn't help but melt. He chuckled against me and I sighed.

"You look simply beautiful," he whispered, "You can't wear this outfit and not expect me to react this way." He looked at me, his lust-blown eyes smouldering and a wide smile playing on his face.

"I thought you had a surprise for me," I smiled cheekily, knowing he had forgotten.

"Oh, well yes but maybe it can wait."

"No, no, Blaine I want my surprise," I whined jokily, pleading against his arms.

"Ok, ok, but just sit over there so I won't be tempted to keep touching you." Blaine took one more look lasciviously over my body before he fiddled with some kind of photo contraption and a projector and I had never felt more wanted.

Finally getting the thing to work, he proudly stood before the projector and announced he had managed to find a way to show the photos we had taken on our sort of holiday before we arrived back to Manderley. We had travelled all over France after leaving Monte Carlo and taken many photos so it was lovely to see them again and see how happy we had been. Blaine had even managed to make a simple video of a picnic we had taken in the south of France, both of us leaning against the car in the nice weather.

"You look so happy here," Blaine said almost wistfully, looking at the video but suddenly it jarred and whirred and stopped. The lights were switched on and Blaine tried to correct it when Frith entered.

"Sorry to disturb you sir but there is a problem between Mrs Danvers and young Robert and he is in quite a tizzy."

"Well what is it Frith," Blaine said, clearly annoyed at such a disturbance.

"Mrs Danvers has noticed a missing ornament from the morning room, a china cherub and she has accused Robert of stealing the item. Robert denies this and is now extremely upset."

"Well ask Robert to dry his tears and Mrs Danvers to start a search for the item. Innocent until proven guilty, I say."

"Very good, sir." And Frith left.

I suddenly felt very foolish and as Blaine started the video again and our image came up on the screen I decided to confess.

"I'm sorry Blaine, but I broke the china cherub and forgot to mention it to anyone. I feel rather foolish now."

"Well why didn't you say anything when Frith was in the room?" Blaine sounded exasperated and I felt like a silly twelve year old child.

"I was worried what they would think of me, Mrs Danvers scares me slightly."

Blaine laughed. "Don't be silly Kurt; you're in a much better position than Mrs Danvers." Mrs Danvers then entered followed by Frith, seeming to glide or float without the use of her feet.

"Don't worry Mrs Danvers, all can be explained. Kurt has just admitted to breaking the cherub."

"Oh," Mrs Danvers looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "Is it completely broken? Can it be mended?"

"No I'm afraid not," I answered.

"Where is the item? Maybe Mrs Danvers can check," Blaine said.

"I don't think it can, I put it in the back of a drawer in the desk in the morning room."

Blaine laughed again. "It looks like Kurt was scared you would find it Mrs Danvers! Find it and see if it can be fixed."

"In future Mr Anderson, it might be an idea if Kurt would tell me if something like this happens again." She spoke directly to Blaine, as if I couldn't be trusted with even this small bit of information. Blaine was already at the video, bored of the conversation.

"Yes, yes Mrs Danvers. Thank you, you may go."

The video resumed and lights were turned off. We could see our smiling faces on the screen and the darkness around me hid my embarrassment from Blaine.

"I am sorry Blaine. I feel really stupid now."

"Don't be silly," Blaine said, walking to me where I sat resting on the arm of a chair. "You shouldn't be afraid of Mrs Danvers, she is no one compared to you." He started to stroke my cheek and wind his fingers in my hair. I sighed.

"I know," I whispered in pleasure, unable to raise my voice, "I just worry that she liked Rebecca far more than me and I am a disappointment to her."

"No, it is precisely because you are nothing like Rebecca that you are here." Blaine continued to stroke my hair as his lips found my cheek and started to plant soft kisses along my jaw line.

"I suppose that will keep people looking at me as if I were a prize cow," I chuckled softly. Blaine stopped to look at me carefully.

"So what if they do, you must remember Manderley, and who resides here, are of great interest to the poorer people but it doesn't matter what they see or think they see."

"I know Blaine. I suppose that's why you brought me here because I'm so much duller than Rebecca and you knew that there would never be any gossip about me."

"Gossip?" Blaine asked sharply, all humour erased from his face.

"Yes, I mean, oh I don't know what I mean, just ignore me Blaine, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said it."

"Yes it was a rather silly thing to say," Blaine said as he turned to face away from me. I could already feel the coldness and I craved the warmth from earlier.

"I'm sorry Blaine, please look at me. I didn't mean anything by it." I touched his arm gently, as he continued to watch the video of our holiday together before things became more complicated.

"You look so happy here, I wish we'd stayed, never come here. You must think me a rather dull old man compared to what you could have." He still avoided my eyes as he looked at the video.

"No Blaine, I don't think that. The age difference is only a few years and I couldn't bear the thought of being apart from you now."

He looked at me finally as my voice faltered and his face softened.

"Do you really mean that? Do you really?" He looked like such a lost puppy that I went to him, stroked his arm, hoped I would be back in the nook soon.

"Yes Blaine, I'm sorry I upset you."

"You didn't Kurt, not really. I suppose Rebecca is still an issue here at Manderley and I wish it didn't affect us still."

"We won't let it," I said.

xXx

We ate dinner soon after and finding nothing else to occupy our time we soon excused ourselves and went to bed, seemingly to our separate bedrooms.

Soon after we departed I heard a tentative knock on my door and Blaine walked in, in his pyjamas, with a shy expression, as if I would turn him away.

"Come in," I said, as I walked towards him by the door.

"Kurt, I feel sad about earlier. I still need to know that we're ok…" He looked down at his feet, a blush creeping on his face. I had not seen this side of Blaine before and I could not keep still anymore. I tilted his chin to look at me carefully and I spoke only in whispers.

"Blaine, I love you, let me love you."

I stroked his cheek as he smiled and my hands travelled lower to tickle his collarbone and neck. I undid the buttons on his monogrammed pyjama top, slowly, teasingly and his breath hitched. I smiled as I took the top off his broad shoulders, revelling in the sudden expanse of olive skin and chest hair that was before my eyes. He did the same to me, lovingly taking my clothes off and removing his own trousers. He walked towards my bed and turned to take my hand slowly, leading me to follow him, like I promised.

We lay on the bed and I could only drink him in as he stroked my shoulders and collarbone, feeling along my chest and hip bones. I sighed in pleasure as he touched. He looked like he had never known such pleasure and I wished then that he would always look like this.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, as he started to kiss along my cheek, then neck, then collarbone.

"I want to drink you in so much Kurt; I can't believe that you're mine. All mine…" he breathed against my skin, as he touched, kissed and licked. I crept closer, craving his touch and making noises that I didn't know I was capable of. I was addicted to him, I couldn't get enough. He was everything and all things and I was worried it would end.

"The sounds you make Kurt, the taste of you… I, you're so… oh god…" He started to mumble and I couldn't just lie there any longer, I had to taste and touch and lick and nibble for myself. I manoeuvred Blaine underneath me, as I straddled his legs and lowered my body over his. As Blaine felt my hardness on his thigh, he moaned in new pleasure and I rutted against him, seeking friction and something more. I needed closeness.

"Oh Kurt, oh god…" Blaine's hips twitched beneath me and I licked tentatively at his ear, eliciting a groan of desperation.

"Let me… oh… can I?"

"Yes, anything, yes…" was all I could say, as he placed his fingers near my mouth and I licked confidently, not sure where I found this courage. Blaine's eyes were dark and needy in the low light and seeing me suck his fingers caused his face to crumble with want. His hand went from my lower back to tentatively stroke my cheeks apart. Finding what he wanted, he stroked me intimately until I couldn't support my weight on my arms any longer.

I rolled under Blaine, breaking contact, until he continued in a new position and kissed my neck, sucking gently; biting only in places that wouldn't be visible. He continued to insert fingers inside of me until I could wait no longer and I begged to be taken, for him to consume me. I wanted all of him.

He soon obliged and I had never felt so full, so complete. I knew then that I belonged here with Blaine, even if it was here in Manderley.

"So tight Kurt, so beautiful…" Blaine moaned above me and I could hold it in no longer.

"Please kiss me Blaine, kiss me…" And he did, licking my bottom lip and weaving his tongue in with my own. He started to stroke me and it didn't take long for me to come between us, moaning in pleasure, Blaine's name on my lips as he came inside me.

Blaine left my side after a few moments, cleaning me and then himself with a wet cloth and sighing he lay beside me. He soon opened his arms and I found myself being tucked under his neck, near his shoulder where I belonged.

"You are so beautiful Kurt, I don't deserve you… I just, I feel so complete with you here. I never really knew it could be like this…" his voice trailing away, betraying his emotion.

"I belong with you Blaine," I whispered in his ear, "I love you."

"I love you too Kurt, so much…"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: I borrow quite a few lines from the film _Rebecca_ in this chapter. I of course don't own the film or Glee.

Chapter 7

The next morning I awoke to find only a cold side of the bed and a small note on the other pillow.

_Dear Kurt,_

_ I have gone early to London this morning to sort out some business with the estate and won't be back until late evening. _

_ Enjoy yourself around Manderley; I should think you would like the break from me after all._

_ Love Blaine _

I felt my heart sink upon reading the note. Even after last night, forgiveness given freely, the connection we had shared, Blaine still believed I regretted coming here with him. I felt overwhelmed with the need to persuade him otherwise but also so tired. I wish it could have been easier.

I sadly sat in the morning room, in the window seat as the maid brought me breakfast on a tray, watching out the window for something or anything to happen. Time seemed to stand still here and I felt suffocated and trapped. A tear left my eye as the maid busied herself in the room and enquired if I needed anything else this morning. I suddenly noticed a window moving from the opposite wing and a flutter of the net.

"No thank you Hilda, I just wondered if the west wing was in use this morning?"

"No sir, it hasn't been used since Mrs Anderson died." She left the room.

My curiosity was piqued and I decided to explore the west wing – the place forbidden to me since my arrival. Blaine had been dismissive about what belonged there and Mrs Danvers seemed to revere the place. I wondered what was there to warrant such feelings, so I started walking to the stairs but I heard a noise, voices.

"Come along Mr Jack, or someone may see you," Mrs Danvers said. A man's voice replied, confident, nonchalant and dripping with mirth.

"Well Danny, old harpy, it's been good to see you again. It's been simply breathless to pick up all the news." Jasper kept barking, determined to make his presence known.

"I really don't think it's wise for you to come here Mr Jack."

"Oh nonsense, nonsense. It's just like coming home." His voice was getting steadily louder, indicating they were coming down the stairs and I tried to get Jasper to follow me into the morning room so I would be hidden.

"Quiet Mr Jack."

"Yes we must be careful not to shock Cinderella, mustn't we?"

"He's in the morning room. If you leave through the garden door he won't see you."

"I must say I feel a little like the poor relation, sneaking around through back doors. Well toodle-oo Danny."

"Goodbye Mr Jack and please be careful." The door closed and Jasper whined. I suddenly felt foolish and rather annoyed to have been described like that by someone that didn't know me, when I was startled by a voice behind me from the window.

"Looking for me?" his voice crawled with delight in my surprise, I hated him. "I didn't make you jump did I?" He laughed.

"No of course not, I didn't quite know who it was," I replied confidently, though my heart was beating madly in my chest. Jasper ran up excitedly to the man still outside the window.

"Yes, you're pleased to see me. Aren't you old boy? I'm glad there's someone in the family to welcome me back to Manderley. And how is dear old Blaine?" He said, finally addressing me, reaching to his pocket to get a cigarette from his case. He looked me up and down, determined to find out something I presumed.

"Very well, thank you," I said, standing tall.

"I hear he went up to London, left his secretary behind." He continued to smirk and look me up and down, determined to make me feel uncomfortable and I was just as determined that he wouldn't win. Mrs Danvers suddenly appeared by the door behind me and she looked between us.

"Danny," he said, "All your precautions were in vain, the secretary of the house was hiding behind the door," he smirked again, pointing at me. "Oh what about presenting me?" he asked Mrs Danvers, straightening his tie in a mocking way.

"This is Mr Favell," Mrs Danvers said, addressing me.

"How do you do?" I said simply. He hopped out of the window into the room, nearly skipping to me to shake my hand and asked how I was too.

"Won't you have some tea or something?" I asked feigning politeness.

"Well isn't that a charming invitation. I've been asked to stay to tea Danny and I've a good mind to accept." Mrs Danvers shook her head at Jack to which he took heed.

"Oh well perhaps you're right," he said, "Pity just when we were getting on so nicely. Goodbye, it's been fun meeting you." He shook my hand cordially and I almost believed he was sincere. He turned to go but suddenly remembered something.

"Oh by the way, it would be very decent of you if you didn't mention this little visit to Blaine. He doesn't exactly approve of me."

"Very well."

"That's very sporting of you. Fare thee well," he said as he jumped out the window. "Oh and I know what was wrong with that introduction, Danny didn't tell you did she? I am Rebecca's favourite cousin. Toodle-oo." And he went, clearly happy with my parting expression which must have shown surprise. I turned around to find Mrs Danvers had disappeared silently again and I felt my heart sink. Why had this man come to mock and hide? Why didn't Blaine like him? I wanted to know answers and felt foolish that I again was mistaken for a fool and a plaything. I looked towards the stairs and was reminded of my earlier idea to explore the west wing.

I went up the stairs panic settling in my stomach as I ascended, determined not to be caught, checking for servants, especially Mrs Danvers as I went. The two doors of the west wing stood looming ahead of me as I reached the landing and walking quietly across I opened it and instantly saw the nets, shadows of butterflies appeared lining the window. I parted the nets that separated the room in half and went through looking at the room in all its beauty. There was an eerie darkness there and the atmosphere was odd, as if Rebecca had merely popped out for a party and would return soon, the room remained as it should if she still resided there. I opened the curtains, pulling the string, allowing light to finally enter and it revealed the perfectly arranged flowers on most of the tables. I opened a window.

Her dressing table was lined with brushes and mirrors and a very large photograph of Blaine, austere and formal, was sitting on the table in its frame. The window suddenly slammed, breaking me out of my reverie and a voice appeared at the door.

"Do you wish anything sir?" Mrs Danvers' silhouette appeared through the net and she parted them to glide forward, closer to me.

"I didn't expect to see you Mrs Danvers," my voice faltered as she peered at me curiously and came closer. "I noticed that a window wasn't closed and I came to see if I could fasten it."

"Why did you say that?" She turned to me accusingly, "I closed it before I left the room. You opened it yourself didn't you? You've always wanted to see this room, haven't you? Why did you never ask me to show it to you? I was ready to show it to you every day." She closed the window I had opened and suddenly pulled the string of the other window; light revealing the room to its best. She suddenly looked like a powerful beast, commanding light to enter where it was needed. She looked other-worldly.

"It's a lovely room isn't it? Loveliest room you've ever seen. Everything is kept just as Mrs Anderson liked it. Nothing has been altered since that last night. Come I'll show you her dressing room." She walked around the room as if she worshipped it, as if Rebecca was still there. I followed her obediently, not saying a word.

"This is where I keep all her clothes," opening the big wardrobe, "You would like to see them wouldn't you?" She asked, her eyes wide in question, looking as if she had gone quite mad. She showed me Rebecca's furs, asked me to feel it, stroking my face with it, explaining it was a gift from Blaine.

"He was always getting her gifts, all year round." I felt my stomach lurch painfully with jealousy, I didn't know. I just followed her as she showed me Rebecca's underwear, explaining that they were made especially for her by local nuns. I felt sick.

"I would always wait up for her, whenever she went out," she continued, "She would tell me all about her day, who she had met, the fun she had had. She knew everyone that mattered, everyone loved her."

She explained her nightly rituals, her bath, her combing of her hair, what products she used. I followed dumbly, forced into positions that Rebecca had been in, at the dressing table, near the bed. I wanted to run.

"Oh you've moved the brush, haven't you?" She commented, moving it to the correct position. She moved to the bed, showing her night clothes, the thin delicate lace and silk. She looked so lovingly at the nightdress, not even noticing me next to her, so I started to move, not even aware my feet were leading me to the door. She followed soon after.

"You wouldn't think she'd been gone so long, would you?" She asked, my hand on the door knob. "Sometimes when I walk along the corridor, I fancy I see her just behind me. That quick light step. I couldn't mistake it anywhere. Not only in this room, it's in all the rooms in the house." She had reached the door, by my side, as she looked around the room, near the ceiling, as if she expected Rebecca's spirit to be watching and hovering over us.

"I can almost hear it now. Do you think the dead come back and watch the living?" She asked me suddenly; her eyes wide as if to look into my soul, search for answers.

"No I don't believe it," I answered, wringing my hands, panic mounting in my chest. "Sometimes I wonder if she doesn't come back here to Manderley," she said, coming ever closer, her face inches from mine, "And watch you and Mr Anderson together. You look tired. Why don't you stay here and rest a while? And listen to the sea." Her eyes wandered away from my face as if she was intently listening to the sea herself, as if she was drawn to it or it was calling her.

"So soothing…Listen to it, listen…" she said, walking away from me and the door, following the sound, listening intently. I took this opportunity to run through the door.

"Listen to the sea."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I suddenly felt overwhelmed as I ran from that horrible place to the morning room, full of Rebecca's letters, address book with her initial and all her belongings surrounding me, boxing me in. I could feel hot tears falling down my face before I knew I was crying and I was determined that she wouldn't win. I called the house phone for Mrs Danvers and started frantically removing letters from the desk drawers, spotting a letter from Jack Favell reminding me of that annoying visitor from earlier. I knew what I had to do.

"Mrs Danvers," I said as she entered, "I want all these things removed," indicating the letters and objects on the desk.

"But these belong to Mrs Anderson," she said indignantly, looking me up and down almost in disgust that I would even dream of such a thing.

"I live here now and wish to use this room. She has the west wing, that will do."

"Very well," she said flatly, determined to do her duty but her hatred was clear.

As I walked towards the door I assured her I would not tell Blaine about Jack's earlier visit and that I wanted no mention of anything that happened today. I could not bear the thought that Blaine would know how much she had affected me. As I went to leave, I heard a rustle at the door and realised Blaine had returned from London and I couldn't help myself, I ran to him and almost flung myself at him.

"You've been gone all day," I said, as Blaine hugged me close by the waist.

"Oh Kurt," he said as he breathed me in, brushing his lips along my neck, "I've missed you."

"How could you think that I would not want your company for today?" I said sadly, revealing the hurt he had caused by his letter. He looked upon me sadly.

"Well what have you been doing with your day?" he asked as we walked to the study.

"Nothing much," I answered, "But I do have an idea. What about putting on a costume ball for the people around Manderley like you used to? It would make people aware that you are entertaining again, just like before."

"I don't know," Blaine said, looking anxious, "You know you'll be host to the entire neighbourhood and the whole county? Hundreds will be here."

"I know but it will give me something to plan while you're busy and I can be useful to you, thinking of ways to make Manderley visible again. I can design our costumes too." I couldn't contain my excitement at the thought and Blaine smiled warmly at my enthusiasm.

"Well I can't say no now, can I?" Blaine said laughing, "I don't think I'll ever be able to refuse you anything."

"Good," I said, "What do you think you'll wear?" I asked happily.

"Oh I only wear a suit and tie to these events, that is the great privilege of being the host," Blaine said, smiling as he pulled me closer and kissed me sweetly on the lips. I felt myself melt against him and could only smile that I would be doing and planning something so enjoyable. I was to be so sorely disappointed.

xXx

I sketched possible outfits for days; screwing up many designs in frustration as I thought of so many ideas that I knew wouldn't be suitable. I wanted to dazzle, I wanted to impress. I knew that people would be wondering who I was, why Mr. Anderson needed a secretary and what the fuss was all about. I wanted to show them how good I was for Blaine, how useful and my outfit had to reflect me in my best possible light.

As I was sketching another design on my bed one day, Mrs Danvers came in brandishing my crumpled designs from the morning room and asking whether I intended to throw them away. I told her that I had.

"Are you thinking of your costume for the ball?" she asked.

"Yes, I want to surprise Blaine."

"Have you seen the portraits over the landing? They may give inspiration."

"Thank you," I whispered, still suspicious of any kindness from her, "I will look."

She followed me along the portraits and pointed out family members who were considered important and regal. She drew my attention to an upright man, in a simple suit with chequered design. He had represented the Scottish side of the family and he looked so distinguished and different from the others that I immediately warmed to the idea.

"I have heard Mr Anderson remark that that is one of his favourite portraits," Mrs Danvers said and I seized the idea, thinking it would be such a great surprise to Blaine.

As planning continued I didn't allow anyone to see my costume, not even Blaine's sister Beatrice who came to inquire of me before the guests arrived. I was nervous but so excited as the costume was finally fitted to me and I looked at the portrait one last time to determine how much of a likeness it was and how I had designed it perfectly to suit my frame.

I descended the majestic stairs, my hands shaking and I could see the backs of Blaine, his sister and her husband at the foot of the stairs. I swooped in behind them and timidly called out "Mr Anderson," and Blaine turned.

His face I shall never forget, such horror and then hatred as he looked at me, my heart sunk and panic filled my chest.

"Rebecca," whispered Beatrice, her face also a picture of horror and Blaine came towards me.

"What have you done?" he looked so disgusted at me that I wanted to sink and slide away.

"I don't know Blaine, what do you mean?" I stammered out as I tried to ease the situation, do anything to stop this.

"Just change," he said, turning his disgusted face away, "Just change!" he shouted, "Didn't you hear me?"

"Yes, Blaine, I…" I ran up the stairs as fast as the tight trousers would allow.

As I went to enter my room and sob, I saw Mrs Danvers flit away to the west wing and I knew, I knew she had set me up, made this happen. Anger boiled in my veins and I followed her.

"You knew!" I spat at her as she stood by the bed, tending to Rebecca's night clothes.

"Yes, I saw you enter, saw you go down the stairs, just like she did before you. She thought it was so daring to dress as a man to a costume ball. Even in the same outfit you couldn't compare."

"But why? Why do you hate me? What have I ever done to you?" I shouted.

"Because you tried to take her place. I've seen his face, his eyes, I know how haunted he was after she died, how tortured and alone he felt. I used to listen to him walking up and down, night after night tortured because he'd lost her." She got closer, her words faster, tumbling out of her evil mouth. I backed away, stopped by a pillar in the middle of the room and felt the tears prickling at my eyes, tried to stop them falling.

"I don't want to know," I kept repeating to her, urging her to stop.

"You thought you could replace her?" She said, her voice scathing, "Live in her house, walk in her steps, take the things that were hers but she's too strong for you, you can't fight her, no one ever got the better of her, never, never. She was beaten in the end but it wasn't a man that did it, it was the sea." I walked away again, edging further and further from her hideous hold over me, her voice trying to catch me, to trap me and ensnare me. She followed still. I edged closer to the bed as my tears finally overflowed and I sobbed, begging her to stop as I fell on the bed, face down on a pillow with Rebecca's initial.

"You're overwrought," she said calmly, "I've opened a window, maybe you could use some air."

I wandered towards the window, desperate to breathe again and to be away from that pillow, from that woman and her presence.

"Why don't you leave? Leave Manderley and never come back?" She was saying, nearly whispering by my ear as I grabbed onto the curtain desperately. "He doesn't need you, he's got his memories," she continued, "You've nothing to stay for, you've nothing to live for really have you? Look down there," she indicated the misty clouds beneath the window. They seemed to swirl and cloud the ground below, almost like a fluffy pillow and I suddenly felt myself drifting towards it. I knew I would be safe there, it would catch me and I would be free.

She kept talking, whispering, asking me to fall, saying I shouldn't be afraid but as I looked the mist below seemed to clear. I could see the paving, the wrought iron gates and as I focused on those objects, feeling myself slowly drift back to life, there was a sudden flare in the sky. A warning.

"A ship on the rocks!" someone below shouted and I stepped away from the window. There was a crowd below, people rushing out of the house to see, to find out what had happened.

"A ship on the rocks!" was shouted again and I could see Blaine below, having his coat put on by Robert and other men ran to the shore. I shouted but no one could hear me from up there so I backed away from Mrs Danvers again and prepared to join them at the beach.

xXx

After I had changed I walked briskly to the beach, a crowd was gathered and I couldn't see Blaine anywhere but I soon stumbled upon Ben, who was sitting there on a rock, his eyes protruding and he startled me.

"Ben have you see Mr Anderson?" I asked him.

"She won't come back will she?" he asked wildly, his eyes begging for an answer but I walked away and soon found Frank.

"Frank, have you seen Blaine?"

"Not for half an hour or so, I thought he'd gone back to the house."

"No, he wasn't there, I worry something might have happened to him."

Frank looked at me carefully then, worry lines etched on his face and I felt a deep unease enter and settle in my stomach as the smell of the water rose and filled my nostrils.

"Frank what is it?"

"It's the boat they found under the other boat, it's…"

"It's hers isn't it?" I whispered.

"Yes," Frank looked down.

"It'll bring it all back for Blaine, all the memories," I finished for him, and I couldn't help but wish they hadn't found it. That she had remained where she was, at the bottom of the sea in peace.

Frank said he would get breakfast ready for the men and I went on with my search for Blaine. As I wandered I noticed the light on in the cottage I had stumbled upon a few weeks ago on the beach and I went towards it, drawn to it, hoping again for answers.

As I entered, the door creaking, I saw Blaine sat in the big armchair in the corner of the cabin, wrapped in his big winter coat and staring blankly ahead. He seemed to blink and refocus upon my entering and he saw me.

"Blaine," I said, rushing to him and he smiled as if it might be the last time he would get to see me. "Everyone is looking for you."

"Oh I see," he looked away in the distance again, unfocused, unsure.

"Have you forgiven me yet?" I asked timidly and Blaine looked up, clearly perplexed. "About the costume…"

"Oh I was angry with you wasn't I?" he said, as if that was a different age and it was silly to think on such matters after all that had happened. "I'd forgotten," he said simply.

"Oh I do hope we can start again Blaine, I do hope that even if you can't love me, that I can still stay here. I'll be a companion, anything." I heard myself beg and hated myself for it but I knew I would do anything for Blaine, to have him near.

"You love me very much, don't you?" he said, surprise in his voice as he rose from the chair and hugged me close.

"Of course Blaine, I would do anything for you; I hate to see you so upset."

"I don't deserve you; you couldn't possibly say all that after you knew."

"Knew what?"

"You see it's not just an ordinary boat that they discovered."

"I know," I said, "Frank told me they discovered Rebecca's boat and it will bring it all up again for you my dear. I am sorry."

"Not just the boat," Blaine said sadly, looking down at our entwined hands as he sat back down again in the chair. I nestled between his knees. "They found a body under the cabin."

"A body?"

"Yes, Rebecca's body, which means the body that is buried under her tombstone, is not Rebecca's."

"But I don't understand," I began.

"I knew it wasn't her body when I identified it at the morgue. I knew yet I still said it was hers. I know that body in that boat is hers now, because I put it there myself," he said finally. He suddenly looked up at my wide eyes and smiled sadly.

"You see, you cannot possibly love me now."

I got up and retreated, my eyes starting to wobble, tears threatening to fall. I walked backwards, still staring, looking at him, hoping it wasn't true. I stood in the doorway and felt my world crumple as Blaine sat still in the chair, looking at his hands.


	9. Chapter 9

**Warnings**: Discussion of death.

Chapter 9

"You see, you cannot even look at me," Blaine whispered as I continued to stand by the door, "It is all over now." He looked down at his hands, his eyes full, one blink allowing a tear to fall down his perfect face. I could not bear the sadness, could not see him like that, I walked quickly to him as he turned to walk away towards the cold window.

"No, you're not to say that," I said, clutching onto his arms from behind, "It's not all over, it will just be us, no more secrets, no more shadows."

"No," Blaine said, turning around and looking sadly at my face, "We only have a few hours, a few days…" He kissed me then, soft and warm against my lips, cold from outside. He seemed to savour the moment, his fingers finding the nape of my neck and pulling me closer. I could feel his heart beat through his shirt and I clung on determined to make this last forever. I never wanted to leave this place, if only I could have Blaine, be his and his alone.

But it seemed that truth now wanted to reveal its ugly head and be fully known and understood and as Blaine drifted away from me sadly, I started to think that maybe Blaine hadn't really loved me in the first place. I must have been such a poor substitute for Rebecca when I arrived at Manderley. Rebecca was the greatest hostess; I was nothing and could only mock her memory by my costume.

"What was she really like?" I asked timidly in the silence as Blaine wandered near the window again, "Do you wish she was still here after all this has happened?"

Blaine looked up at me sharply, failing to understand my meaning. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Do you miss her? I sometimes think you would prefer to have her here with you, being a perfect hostess to your guests at Manderley and running the household like it should be run. Instead you are left with me."

"Of course I would rather have you!" Blaine exclaimed, "I told you before I wasn't attracted to her, she was never my type."

"But apart from that? She clearly knew how to run the estate, knew how to impress people with her vivacity and beauty. I am very poor in comparison. I think you must have loved her despite the fact that she was a woman." I looked down, barely able to voice my worries, feeling foolish. Blaine had closed the distance quickly and he tilted my chin so my gaze met his own. His eyes had softened and he kissed me sweetly on the cheek.

"Kurt, you never have to worry on that account. I hated her," and his face changed. The sweet man that had just kissed me, turned vicious and hate-filled. His dark eyes seemed to cloud over with hatred and he couldn't bear to look at me and feel such a way. He started pacing the room.

"I hated her with all that I have," Blaine continued, "Everyone told me how lucky I was when I married her. She was so beautiful, so accomplished," he said, looking ahead in the distance, seeming to imagine her face. "She's got everything needed in a wife, they all said: breeding, brains and beauty. Oh how I believed them, but I never had a moment's happiness with her. She had no tenderness, no real love about her." I could only repeat to myself quietly the fact that I held onto so dearly. Blaine didn't love her. Blaine never loved Rebecca at all.

"Do you remember that time you saw me at that cliff in Monte Carlo?" he said as he walked over to me, earnestly looking into my eyes. I nodded.

"That's where we went on honeymoon and there that she told me all about herself. Things I cannot even repeat to you, someone so full of love and compassion like you," he said, his eyes softening as he looked at me. "I remember her so clearly on that cliff, black hair dancing in the wind and her laugh, so teasing, almost psychotic. She said she had known that I had never found her attractive. She had noticed how when our parents set us up, that I had looked at others differently. She knew I preferred men and she didn't care. She thought it was funny, something she could use against me." Blaine looked so tired, he gently leaned on the back of an arm chair, needing support as he continued the story.

"She knew we couldn't divorce after four days of marriage so she said she'd make a bargain with me - play the devoted wife, mistress of my precious Manderley, make it the best estate in England. She said people would visit us, envy us, comment that we were the luckiest, happiest couple in the country. What a grand joke it will be! What a triumph!" Blaine almost seemed mad in the half-light, eyes wide.

"I shouldn't have played along," he said, "I shouldn't have agreed to the deal but she knew that I would protect the family honour, would care more for tradition and would hate to take her to the divorce courts. I was younger then, more aware of what I needed to do to protect my family name, make sure my father approved of my actions. You must hate me," he said, looking sadly at me, his shoulders sunken, "You despise me don't you? Like I despise myself."

"Of course I don't Blaine," I said, tears appearing in my eyes but our distance remained. He continued to pace, leaving his place by the window.

"And I kept the bargain, and she did too, or so it would seem but she became careless, spending whole weekends in her flat in London and forgetting herself at parties. She would drink, prey on other men. She even tried poor Frank and her cousin Jack, well he was a bad influence too. They would come back here," he said, looking around the cottage we were standing in. "I told them to be more careful but they wouldn't listen, just laughed and carried on, living the high life, caring only for their own pleasure. She made me a laughing stock."

He stood by the door frame, fist clenched and as he spoke he pounded the frame almost wondering what he had become.

"One night, when I knew she had returned here quietly from London, I thought Favell was here with her. I decided that I couldn't stand the filthy deceit any longer, so I came down here prepared to have it out with them but she was alone. She was sitting on that divan, a big ashtray full of cigarettes stubs beside her. She looked ill, out of sorts and suddenly she got up, her nightdress flowing around her as she moved." We both turned to the mentioned divan and I could imagine her there, draped over the sofa and then moving. Her ghost seemed to haunt us still.

"She walked towards me. 'When I have a child,' she said, 'Neither you nor anyone else could prove it wasn't yours. You'd like to have an heir wouldn't you Blaine for your precious Manderley?' And she started to laugh. 'I'd be the perfect mother, just like I've been the perfect wife,' she said, delighting in the marvellous joke she was saying. 'It should give you the thrill of your life to see my son grow up, knowing that he would own the place when you die.' She got closer and closer to me, now facing me, with one hand in her pocket, the other holding a cigarette."

I could just imagine her and Blaine seemed to lift his eyes in front of him, as if he could see her still, his eyes wide, hating but oh so scared and I wanted to go to him, break the spell but I couldn't. I just watched him battle with this imaginary woman in front of him.

"She wanted to know what I thought," Blaine said, "'What are you going to do about it Blaine?' she asked me, 'Aren't you going to kill me?' She laughed, kept mocking me, getting closer and closer and as I was backed towards the door, I flung her aside, trying to escape her psychotic laugh. She went through the door and landed." Blaine opened the little door all of a sudden, indicating the room that contained rope, shipping tackle and boating supplies. They still remained but there was no other indication that anything untoward had happened there. Just a space. Blaine walked away from the tiny room, staring at the space on the floor transfixed, horrified.

"She must have hit her head on some heavy metal tackle and I remember wondering why she was still smiling…" his voice trailed away, his eyes hollow and unfeeling. "I realised she was dead," he whispered.

"But you didn't kill her," I exclaimed, "It was an accident."

"Who would believe me?" he asked quietly, not looking my way, "I had to do something, I carried her outside to the boat," and Blaine walked to the window again, reliving the horror, seeing for himself where he had travelled to, what low depths he had sunk to. "It was very dark, no moon, and I put her in the cabin and when the boat seemed a safe distance from the shore I took a spike and drove it again and again through the planking of the hull. The water came in fast and I climbed into the dingy and sailed away. I saw the boat keel over and sink," he said, a note of finality in his voice, his ordeal of reliving the nightmare over.

I almost ran to him. "Blaine, does anyone know of this?" I asked gripping his arms, trying to bring him back to me.

"No, only you and me."

"Maybe they won't know it's her, you can say you don't know her."

"No they're bound to recognise her, the rings she wore. They'll identify her body and then they'll remember the other woman."

"You can say that you didn't know, that the day you identified the other woman, you weren't yourself. Only you and I know Blaine, Rebecca can't harm you now." I grabbed his arms, wanted him to realise, try to save himself.

"I said before that I did a very foolish and selfish thing bringing you here," Blaine whispered, looking at me for the first time in quite a while, tears springing to his eyes. "I have loved you so much Kurt," he said, "But I knew she would win in the end, Rebecca would win." He turned away, to look at me too painful. I followed him, turning him around to face me again.

"No she hasn't won," I said, "No matter what happens, she hasn't won."

Suddenly the phone rang, disturbing the eerie silence and we looked at each other. Blaine answered and it appeared to be Frank relaying news and as soon as he put the phone down, Blaine seemed to be bracing himself for the inevitable.

"That was Colonel Julian he's the Chief Constable of the county. He asked if I could possibly have made a mistake about the body I identified." And that was it, Blaine left the cottage, returned to his car so he could travel to the mortuary to identify this new body and I was ushered to bed to await Blaine's fate.

xXx

I lay there waiting, alternating between crying and thinking. I wasn't sure if Blaine would come into my room that night, our goodbye so fleeting but I knew I wouldn't sleep until I knew, until he was in my arms.

He did enter my room very late that night or early the next morning and I heard him before I saw him, his silhouette appearing before me in the early morning light from the window. He was still wearing his wet coat and as he took it off to set aside, I saw the lines on his face. He seemed to have aged terribly in the last few hours and I realised how much he would need me.

He undressed and got under the covers and I took him to me, he buried his head in the nook between my neck and shoulders and his cold breath tickled me as he breathed me in, desperate for life and warmth again. After a while I asked him what happened.

"I identified her body and they all agreed that it was understandable that I had a made a mistake under the circumstances," he scoffed quietly, "There will be an inquest tomorrow, reopening the old wounds that fester and grow." He sighed deeply. "They are examining the boat now."

"So soon?"

"Oh yes, these things are dealt with quickly, you know," he almost laughed, "And of course the Colonel suggested we go for a round of golf soon."

"They clearly don't suspect a thing Blaine," I said, hope dripping from my voice, "They'll believe it was an accident."

Blaine couldn't say anything, didn't want to get his hopes up but I knew, I hoped for the both of us. He lay there in my arms limply for a while, barely moving, then suddenly clung to me desperately.

"Kurt, never leave me, let us have tonight, even if this doesn't work, though I may be taken in the morning. Let us have tonight." His voice broke with a sob and I brought him ever closer, desperate to help him believe, never once letting my mind assume that this would be the end. I could only hope and believe.

We made love that night, desperate and fast but so tender and I gasped as he brought me higher and higher. I never wanted it to end and as we came down from the high, I could hear Blaine sobbing quietly as I lay in his arms. I could only scrunch my eyes shut against the world and hope for the both of us.

**A/N**: Only a couple of chapters left, three at most. Hope you've enjoyed it so far; let me know what you think. Thank you to everyone that has reviewed and followed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Warnings**: Mentions of death and suicide.

Chapter 10

I got up early the next morning, slipped away from Blaine to get ready for what I knew would be a trying day. I dressed appropriately in a new suit and went down to see Frith at the bottom of the stairs with the morning papers.

"I have the morning papers sir," he said offering them to me.

"Thank you Frith but I won't need them this morning and I would appreciate it if Mr Anderson didn't see them either." He nodded his head solemnly in agreement.

" We were all sorry to hear the news of the discovery," he said, "I hope Mr Anderson knows that we would all do anything we could to help and if anyone was needed to testify I am sure we would do so."

"Thank you," I said, swallowing a lump in my throat at this man's kindness and utter belief in his master, "I don't think that will be necessary but I know Mr Anderson will like to hear it nonetheless." I drank my tea alone but I couldn't face any food and then I went into the living area, to find Blaine by the fireplace, staring into its glowing embers.

"Blaine?" I whispered as I entered and he looked up, his eyes still sad though he smiled at seeing me. I walked closer and hugged him by the waist. He took me in, looked at me carefully and stroked my cheek.

"I worry about you at the inquest Blaine," I said as his fingers stopped along my jaw and he raised an eyebrow to question. "You won't lose your temper?" I continued.

"No I will try not to Kurt," he said, "I will try for you." And he kissed me sweetly.

"I want to go to the inquest with you," I said.

"Are you sure Kurt?" he said, "I mean it won't be pleasant."

"I know but I can't just stay here and I can't bear the thought of you going through that alone. I need to go with you, so that no matter what happens I won't be separated from you for a moment." Tears sprung to my eyes as soon as the thought entered my mind and Blaine smiled kindly, kissing my cheek tenderly.

"Then you shall go."

"We don't have to go just yet do we?" I asked, "We still have some time?"

"Yes, some time," he said and he hugged me close. "I don't mind this whole thing except for you, for what it's done to you." He took my face in his hands and looked oh so lovingly at my eyes and face. "Oh it's gone forever, that funny lost look you had, a twinkle of such innocence in your eyes. I took that from you, I killed that when I told you about Rebecca." He looked so sad and ashamed, I let my tears fall and hugged him to me so close I could feel his strong chest against mine. I kissed him desperately, his tongue gently caressing mine as if this would be the last kiss and we waited for the inquest.

xXx

The inquest was so formal, a room full of stuffed shirts and the top table a line of important men who held our future in their hands. The first on the stand was Ben, the lonely mad man from the cottage. He bumbled along, answered incoherently, only talking about the fact that she was gone and that she wouldn't return. He kept repeating that he didn't want to go to the asylum and the coroner looked just once at the chief constable and asked Ben to stand down. He was not needed anymore.

Next was the boat expert – the man who had looked at the boat in great detail the day before. I could see Blaine from where I was sitting a few rows behind and he turned to catch my gaze and smiled, as well as he could. I hoped that I would be able to help him in some small way, as I sat there next to Frank and watched on.

The coroner was saying something about the supposed cap-sizing of the boat and what would cause that. The expert than mentioned what we had been dreading.

"That would be fine except for the sea-cocks," he said.

"What are the sea-cocks?" asked the coroner clearly not a man of the sea.

"The sea-cocks are the valves that drain out the boat; they are always kept tightly closed when you are at sea, well this boat had them open."

"Well what could be the reason for that?" the coroner asked.

"Well just this, that's what flooded the boat," he said, "That's what sunk her." There was a sudden murmur around the room and I could see Jack Favell the other side of the room, suddenly sit more upright in interest.

"What are you implying?" the coroner asked.

"That boat didn't capsize in the ordinary way, I know it's a horrible thing to say," he said, looking around the room as if they were his audience and he wanted a reaction, "But in my opinion that boat was scuttled." The murmurs got louder.

"And there's them holes," he continued.

"What holes?"

"In the planking, I mean that boat's been underwater for years and the tide's been knocking her against the ridge but those holes look like she'd made them from the inside."

"So she must have done it deliberately?"

"That was no accident."

I could see the coroner turn to whisper to the chief constable, obviously to confer and I could only breathe deeply, hoping that I wouldn't start to panic. I could see Blaine shuffle uncomfortably in his chair and I wanted to reach out to him, help him, take him away.

Blaine was asked to the stand soon after and I could see him set his jaw as his chest rose in preparation. He was asked constant questions that seemed to get quicker and quicker, his answers getting more and more frustrated. He didn't know whether she would have killed herself, he said, he didn't know if the boat could be damaged any other way. He didn't know. And I could feel the panic rise in my chest as he answered, getting more and more annoyed. I could feel a warmth spread over me and just as I thought Blaine would lose his temper again, I felt myself drifting forward, embarrassingly caught by Frank before I hit the floor. Blaine came quickly to my side and it was agreed that we would adjourn for lunch. I was ushered out to the car as we passed photographers and Frank said we could have lunch there. I sighed as we sat down, finally at peace.

"I'm sorry darling," Blaine said, as he kissed my cheek then offered me a drink from the picnic hamper we had in the car.

"No don't worry Blaine, it was nothing, I'm fine, I assure you."

"I knew you should have eaten breakfast," he said continuing to fuss and stroke my cheek.

"I'm fine honestly Blaine, don't worry."

"I'm sorry I got angry," Blaine said looking ashamed, "I didn't know how to get myself out of the situation." He looked down, such a lost puppy that it was my turn to take his hand and stroke it.

"Don't worry Blaine, we have each other, we'll be ok." Blaine could only look at me and smile sadly, my optimism not quite reaching his heart.

Unfortunately our peace was disturbed as the face of Jack Favell appeared through the open window as we started to drink and eat our lunch.

"Why hello, you two, did you manage to escape the photographers?" he said as he climbed into the car uninvited smoking a cigarette. He asked our driver to fill his car with petrol and close the door.

"Oh sorry, does this bother you?" he said indicating the cigarette, which he promptly threw out the window.

"You know it's a curious thing about those holes isn't it dear Blaine?" he said, as he started to eat a chicken leg. "I have a funny feeling that someone will use that nasty little phrase 'foul play' by the end of the day. It is a curious but highly descriptive phrase don't you think?" He popped the cork on a bottle of wine and helped himself.

"Am I boring you with all this?" he said as he looked to both our faces. "You see I have a little note here that might interest you," he said, removing a folded note from his top pocket.

"What makes you think I would be interested in your note?" Blaine said confidently, not betraying anything.

"Well you see it's from Rebecca, dated the day she died and its rather interesting because it doesn't appear to be a note from a woman that wanted to die." He finished eating the chicken leg and I felt sick but somehow compelled to continue watching him.

"What do you do with old bones?" he asked, "Bury them?" He threw the bone out the car window. "You know I'm getting rather tired of work," he suddenly said, "I'd love to have a few acres to live comfortably on, just enough to shoot and have some fun. I've never worked out how much it would cost a year but I'd like to talk to you about it soon. I'd like your advice on how to live well without hard work," he said smiling.

Frank suddenly appeared at the window of the car, asking if Blaine had wanted to see him. Blaine left the car and said that he needed to speak to Favell privately and the inn across the road would be better. He left without saying a word to me but he whispered to Frank as Favell left the car and was out of ear shot, that we should get Colonel Julian the chief constable and quickly.

Upon entering the inn soon after, I noticed it was crowded and full of smoke but we were ushered into a back room. Frank had brought the chief constable as agreed and we were all bundled in there. I hovered next to Frank and saw Blaine come alive.

"Would you mind repeating your proposition Favell, to Colonel Julian here?" Blaine said as Favell looked mildly panicked.

"I don't know what you mean I merely asked Blaine's advice on living well in the country."

"I think Colonel Julian, that Jack has been withholding vital information and evidence needed at the inquest."

"I only want justice to be done," Jack said, addressing himself to the Colonel, "You see I have a note here that disputes the idea of suicide, I think you'll agree." He opened and showed the letter to the Colonel, who then read it out loud.

_Jack darling,_

_ I've just seen the doctor and I'm going down to Manderley right away. I shall be at the cottage all this evening and shall leave the door open for you. I have something terribly important to tell you._

_ Rebecca_

"You see, that doesn't seem like a letter from someone planning to kill herself a few hours later. And have you never thought that it would be a rather laborious way to kill yourself by drilling holes into the flanking of a boat."

"Well what are you suggesting Favell?"

"Murder," he said simply, looking at Blaine coldly.

"But there's no evidence," Frank said indignantly, "It just sounds like blackmail to me, pure and simple."

"Blackmail is rarely pure and never simple," the Colonel said.

"Well it seems Frank is rather jealous that he didn't get Rebecca after all his efforts," Favell scoffed, "But perhaps he is more interested in Kurt here, after all," he laughed and I could see Blaine walk towards him suddenly and throw a punch at his jaw.

A waiter at the inn suddenly entered the room bearing drinks and asked if we needed anything else.

"Just a sedative for dear Blaine here," Jack said, as he felt along his jaw painfully. The Colonel dismissed the waiter.

"What's the motive then?" the Colonel said speaking to Jack, obviously dismissive from his tone, hoping to rid Blaine of this annoying man.

"Oh yes," Jack said triumphantly, "I have read enough detective fiction to know that there always has to be a motive. You see I have just the person." And he left the room only to return with Mrs Danvers.

"Right Danny, you'll help me, tell everyone about Rebecca's doctor," Jack said.

"Mr Anderson always had Dr McClain from the village," she replied in her usual cold manner.

"Now Danny, I said Rebecca's doctor, in London," Jack said rather crossly.

"I don't know anything about that," she said as she looked at the faces staring at her in the room.

"Now don't give me that," Jack said, getting impatient, "You knew everything about Rebecca, you knew she was in love with me, didn't you? Surely you haven't forgotten the good times Rebecca and I had at the cottage by the beach," he looked to the faces staring at him and he beamed with pride.

"She had a right to amuse herself, didn't she?" Mrs Danvers suddenly said, "Love was a game to her, only a game. She used to rock with laughter at the lot of you," she looked at Jack, then Blaine in disgust.

"Can you think of any reason why Mrs Anderson would take her own life?" Colonel Julian asked.

"No, no," Mrs Danvers said, suddenly overcome with emotion, tears falling down her face. "I refuse to believe it, I knew everything about her and I refuse to believe it."

"There you see," Jack said triumphantly. "Now Danny she went to the doctors in London on the day she died. Who was it?"

"I don't know what you mean," Mrs Danvers said weakly.

"Now Danny I'm on the same side," Jack said.

"It's been suggested that Rebecca was murdered," Colonel Julian said.

"You see Danny; there it is in a nutshell. But there's one thing you will want to know - the name of the murderer, a lovely name that rolls off the tongue: Blaine Devon Anderson." He continued to look so proud of himself, Blaine only blanched at having been mentioned in such a way. Mrs Danvers looked towards Blaine with a horrified expression as Jack looked on, so proud of his deduction skills.

"Mrs Anderson went to a doctor in London even before she was married," Mrs Danvers said suddenly.

"What was his name?" Jack asked eagerly. I could see Blaine plead with his eyes, beg her to understand and protect him and I thought for a moment that she might but as I stood up next to Blaine from my seat she answered. "Dr Baker, 165 Goldhawk Road, Shepherds Bush."

We left soon after in the car, Favell and the Colonel following us to London to see this Dr Baker. I sat between Frank and Blaine in the back seat, our lunch forgotten in the haste for this to be over. The inquest had been postponed pending further evidence and I could feel knots turning in my stomach as we drove. Blaine's jaw was set and his eyes darted to and fro as he looked out of the window. I could offer no solace and Frank said not a word. We got there several hours later.

The doctor agreed to meet us all in his darkened office, his collection of folders and books was magnificent, showing his learning and expertise. We were shuffled into seats and the Colonel explained the situation. The doctor merely said he had never seen a Mrs Anderson but Jack insisted he look in his appointment book for that day in October so long ago. As he read the list of names, a Mrs Danvers cropped up in the book and Jack exclaimed, "She used an alias! Describe this Mrs Danvers."

"I remember her quite well actually; she was tall, dark, a very beautiful woman."

"What did you see her for?" asked Favell, "She was pregnant wasn't she?" Jack looked positively demonic in his need for answers and he hovered over the doctor trying to intimidate him.

"No, she wasn't pregnant, though she had at first assumed she was. I saw her several times and asked her to get tests completed. That day in October the reports were back and she was told her news."

"What was wrong with her doctor?" Blaine asked quietly.

"She had cancer, quite advanced and inoperable." Jack looked horrified and walked backwards, leaning on the wall behind him. Blaine only looked shocked, his mind whirring through her last moments again I assumed.

"Do you think she would have killed herself?" the colonel asked.

"Well that was the interesting thing," the doctor continued, "When I told her that she had only a few months, she laughed ruefully and said 'oh definitely not that long'."

Blaine sat back and looked terribly sad but soon the doctor was being thanked and we all left.

We gathered outside the doctor's offices and Frank asked if Blaine would be needed at the inquest now this news had been discovered. The Colonel assured us we wouldn't be needed and he rebuked Jack for his blackmailing tactics. Jack just laughed it off and returned to his car. We shook hands with the colonel, who explained he would be staying in London for the night and we thanked him as we got into our car: Frank, Blaine and I.

As we sat in the car, looking out the window, I couldn't contain myself anymore. I found Blaine's hand between us and I squeezed it, trying to impart hope and love there, hoping that Frank wouldn't notice. Blaine looked at me, tears evident in his eyes and he smiled so warmly I thought I would melt with relief. We were finally safe and I knew there was nowhere else I wanted to be than with Blaine Devon Anderson.

**A/N**: One more chapter left!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**: Thank you to '**A Romantic At Heart**' and the guest who left lovely reviews – this last chapter is for you and **svallkille** as the 'housekeeper madchick' lives up to her name in this chapter!

Chapter 11

We travelled on through the long hours of the night to return to Manderley, the sun rising slowly, creeping along the horizon but promising a new day with its new light. We were exhausted but so looking forward to getting home, to resting and to starting again, completely free of any ghosts.

I closed my eyes as we were about an hour away from Manderley and Blaine still held my hand, imparting warmth and a promise of never letting go, now that this was all over. I did not sleep but Blaine and Frank thought I did as they whispered to each other in the darkness and I did not interrupt.

"Frank, there's something you don't know," Blaine said timidly, still holding his hand in mine.

"Oh no there isn't," Frank replied confidently.

"I didn't kill her Frank," Blaine whispered after a while, panic sounding in his voice at the thought of it all. "I know now that when she told me about the child she wanted me to kill her. She lied on purpose, she foresaw the whole thing, that's why she stood there laughing when she…" The thought of what had happened was too much, overwhelmed Blaine and I could hear tears in his voice.

"Don't think about it anymore," Frank said soothingly.

"Thank you Frank," Blaine whispered. He was suddenly free of the burden, of the guilt and he clearly didn't know how to act, didn't feel relief or happiness, just like a weight had been lifted. After a heavy silence filled the car, I pretended to stir awake and I squeezed Blaine's hand and dropped my head to rest on his shoulder, where it stayed for the rest of the journey.

xXx

As we neared the long drive of Manderley and were greeted by its trees lining the path, Blaine suddenly clenched my hand and shouted.

"That's not the dawn breaking over that way, surely?"

Both Frank and I looked in the direction of Manderley, Blaine's eyes wide with horror and panic.

"No I don't think so," Frank answered, sleepy and confused.

"No its not, its Manderley! Drive faster!" He ordered as we all sat rigid in our seats, praying that we would arrive in time. As the car parked by the entrance of the house, we were aghast at the vision that lay before us.

Manderley was aflame, smoke billowing up towards the sky in great plumes and fire twirling and curling around the windows and great pillars of the entrance. It looked a vision of hell against the bright pinks of dawn behind it. Servants and interested bystanders were gathered outside in panic, wearing great coats to ward off the flames. Blaine wandered to and fro, begging for news, wondering what had started all this and he saw Frith with Jasper.

"Its Mrs Danvers sir," he said, pointing towards the window from the west wing, "She said she'd rather destroy Manderley than see you and Mr Hummel happy here, sir."

We suddenly saw what he was referring to as everyone looked towards the west wing, its windows forming a line down one side of the house. Mrs Danvers dressed in black, her hair plaited and curled around her head, was silhouetted against the flames around her in the rooms of the west wing. She clearly battled with the flickers of ash and smoke surrounding her, not knowing where to turn she came closer to the window, her figure clearer in the dawn. We stood, looking up at her ghastly figure by the window and I remember thinking she had never looked more powerful. She seemed to take one last look at the wooden beams above her, as they flickered before she was overcome by fire and the beams fell, hiding the rest of her body from view. She had been taken and engulfed.

xXx

We returned the next day to survey the damage, Manderley seemed beyond repair and Blaine wandered aimlessly as I looked after Jasper on his lead. I couldn't help but be fascinated with the west wing and found myself looking over the last of Rebecca's belongings, her initials imprinted into her bed linen, her cushions, her handkerchiefs. I picked up the now cold items, charred and black with smoke and flames and gingerly felt along her initial. She had no power over me now, she could never come back.

I found Blaine soon after, stood back, surveying the whole crumbled building and a tear appeared in his eye as I approached.

"It is all gone," he whispered.

"I'm sorry Blaine," I said as I took his hand in mine.

"This is the only place I have ever known and I will have to leave it now."

"It can be rebuilt?" I asked timidly, still not sure he wanted to live here. He looked at me then as if he had just noticed my presence and he surveyed my face as he had just done over Manderley, his eyes wandering to mine.

"No Kurt, we don't belong here," he said, "We never did. We shall build our own place here, our own lives and nothing will haunt us there." He brought my hand that was in his closer to his lips and kissed it, smiling sweetly.

"Nothing will stop us now, Kurt. No one can stand between us, no power or act of evil. I hope you know how much you mean to me Kurt? We can finally start again, here together and build this place our way."

"I'd like that," I said, smiling and blushing, feeling the warmth from the ashes still there around the ruins of the building.

"I love you Kurt," he said, "I belong with you and it doesn't matter where we'll be, we'll be together."

I could only smile as he brought me closer to him and we linked arms, showing we were together in the only way that the world recognised. My eyes filled with tears at the relief, at the knowledge that Blaine was finally completely mine because he was finally completely free.

"I love you too Blaine."


End file.
